So today I’ll be ruminating on the meanings of the words respect, judgment and tolerance, and tomorrow I’ll comment on what I see as keys to representing ourselves and our views publicly.
So how do we respect a person with whom we disagree fundamentally on important issues? First, we don’t confuse respect with obsequiousness. Finding common ground is important, but faking it doesn’t help anyone.
Acknowledging a disagreement where one exists is not a failure to respect the other party. If I say, “I don’t believe Joseph Smith received true divine communiqués,” this is a crucial statement of fact. We have to agree to disagree on the portions of our beliefs that are inherently incompatible. Otherwise we’re just lying, which demeans our own faith and that of others.
Vegetarians often have to rub elbows with the burger-eating crowd, and sometimes there’s discomfort on all sides. Should I avoid the Big Mac even lacking any conviction about meat, all in the name of sensitivity? Maybe, but if I’m a carnivore, the one thing I can’t do is say things like, “I wish I could do that; it’s so admirable.” Pretending to cede moral high ground isn’t respectful: it’s dishonest. I can even continue to order my salad with chicken as long as I don’t rub it in anyone’s face. Here’s where tolerance comes in.
We can put up with each other with equanimity if we keep reminding ourselves that people who disagree with us aren’t [always] stupid. Even if it turns out I’m right about something, recalling that an opposing position can still be reasoned, and reasonable, allows me to be clear on my point without derogating another.
I’ll wrap up with a word on judgment. Biblically, judgment has various meanings and it’s important to know them and differentiate. First, there’s the punishment kind, like with fire at the end of the world. Unless we’re actually on the bench somewhere, we don’t do this, the sentencing kind of judgment.
But often the other kinds are confused, and then lumped into a big No pile. Condemning someone for their missteps or even their liberties, when done from a position of pride or self-righteousness, is hypocrisy. This is the point of Matthew 7:1 (Judge not, lest ye be judged), which is often thrown back in the faces of Christians to trap them in supposed intolerance.
But Matthew continues in that passage, and after describing hypocrisy, he goes on to clarify proper judgment. (Really! It exists!) The truth is, everyone is making judgments all the time, which is why relativism as a philosophy is so logically untenable. Basically, if you can stand in front of a roller coaster and check whether you meet the height requirement to ride, you can see how judgment that is an assessment (Bible says don’t do xyz; I did xyz. Fail.) is an intellectual exercise that we can and must engage in. Tuck it neatly into the envelopes of respect and tolerance and this kind of judgment can serve you well.
I'll post some simple rules of engagement tomorrow. For now, these webpages have more in-depth treatments of the Biblical uses of the word judgment. Look here and here.